Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

April 7, 2010

This is the question that came up for me over the week-end and to my surprise the response was an emphatic ‘yes’! I was holding onto something because it gave me a sense of security and made me feel safe, but in doing so I was preventing myself from experiencing something quite wonderful.

The thing I happened to be holding onto was a physical thing, but it started me thinking about other areas of my life and how I could apply what I’d learnt.

The boundary to my garden, a thick inpenetrable tangle of brambles each of which appeared to be the width of my thigh and the length of the M5, and an entwined chaos of self-seeded trees and bushes, resembled Sleeping Beauty’s garden 99 years after the fateful spinning wheel experience! A possie of 5 poor unsuspecting Easter guests, who happened to be related to me and very enthusiastic gardeners, spent the week-end felling trees, hacking brambles and building bonfires. They opened up my  garden to reveal beautiful views of rolling Northamptonshire countryside, punctuated with spring lambs enjoying the freedom of their lush playground.

As I write this from my office I am no longer hemmed in by thick bushes bringing darkness and a false sense of security to my world. Instead the light is shining in, the views are stunning and I realise I feel just as secure as I’ve always felt.

So, it got me thinking…… again, yes, I know it’s becoming a habit!……what other boundaries do I have in my life, self-limiting beliefs and false security blankets that prevent me from letting in the possibilities and opportunities that lie beyond. Why be like Sleeping Beauty and tolerate a hundred years of inactivity when a lifetime of possibilitiy lies out there waiting?

5-Minute Challenge:

– Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted, breathe deeply and spend 5 minutes exploring the boundaries and self-limiting beliefs you’ve put up. Look closely as they’re often hidden under the guise of providing security, safety or habitual behaviour.

– What could you do if these didn’t exist. Write down 3 opportunities you could take up if these belief/boundaries were removed.

– How would that feel? Imagine your life without these boundaries and restrictions. What opportunities could you take advantage of and how would your life be different?

– Write it down. Tell someone. Make it happen….

I’d love to hear about your successes and challenges around this subject.

See the possibilities and look beyond the beauty of your dreams….

Warmest wishes,



New experiences….new possibilities…

March 29, 2010


“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore. Dream. Discover.” –Mark Twain

I’ve certainly been sailing out of my safe harbour over the last few days and its offered me amazing experiences from inspirational women to TV appearances….. oh, and what I don’t know about the workings of the bowel  is nobody’s business!

On Wednesday I attended a Women In Business Networking meeting (thank you Barbara!). The room was full of lively and enthusiastic women generously promoting each others businesses. It was a wonderfully positive and inspiring atmosphere and I can highly recommend it. Reaching out to other like-minded women really works and by the end of the day I had several contacts including help with my website, someone who could make a prom dress for my daughter, and an invitation to an NLP group (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Wow, all this in just 60 minutes.

Friday saw me following up an introduction a friend had made and I travelled down to the Taymount Clinic to meet Dr Enid Taylor to discuss coaching and to hear more about the wonderful work they do there. The clinic specialises is stress and digestive problems, offering chocolate body wraps, Reiki and massage aswell as colon therapy – I now know more than my children wished to hear over dinner about colonic irrigation! It was an absolutely fascinating meeting and produced a wonderful opportunity to co-run a Retreat at the clinic introducing a mind and body approach to handling the stress of modern day living. New experiences…new opportunities, and all from a casual almost chance meeting!

Sunday saw me at BBC Broadcasting House in Birmingham recording for the Politics Show. Ok so technically I wasn’t doing the recording but I was in the van for the live link up while my Partner was being interviewed…. It felt exciting  and who knows, next time maybe I really will be the other side of the camera! So, where was I……… lights….camera…action!

5-minute challenge:

Where’s your ‘safe harbour’ and what opportunities could you find if you ventured out and tried something new?

What groups are you interested in joining but have so far resisted because of that negative chat we give ourselves that stops us in our tracks?

This week I’d like to challenge you to do one thing that puts you in the path of new experiences… new possibilities.

Let me know what happens when you venture out from your safe harbour and explore new territory.

Have fun…explore…discover…..

warmest wishes,


For Women in Business see:

For further information on the Taymount clinic see:

Is your life over-planned?

March 22, 2010
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”John Lennon

Nowadays we seem to love setting goals and making plans but in so doing are we not missing a trick?

I’m not saying plans are bad, it’s just sometimes I get the feeling that we’re so goal focussed we forget to stop and smell the roses.

In fact I had one client who came to me for just that reason. She wanted to ‘stop and smell the roses’. After 6months working together she bought me a huge bouquet of red ones, as a thank-you because now, she really had re-designed her life around the things that meant the most to her….today. She still had her vision of the future, but she wasn’t so locked into it that she couldn’t enjoy the present.

If we can enjoy the journey and trust that the present moment is where we’re supposed to be right now how much more energising and enjoyable life would be. We may not understand why we’re in a given situation but, one day, we’ll look back and it’ll all make perfect sense…. the relationship that ended giving way to something so much more fulfilling, the redundancy that lead to retraining and a more interesting career.

So, it got me thinking…. as these things do…

5-minute challenge:

Where in life have you forgotten to stop and enjoy the journey?

What are you rushing to achieve that means you don’t see the fun along the way?

My challenge for today is to write down 3 things that….no… forget the writing and planning…. just do 3 things today that you’d not planned to do and feel the difference.

Let me know what you come up with!

Life is to be enjoyed…. enjoy the possibilities


What needs to happen for your life to be more fun?

March 16, 2010

This is the question I’ve been pondering this week.

It’s not nearly as easy as I thought it was going to be to find an answer.

All the usual answers came up.. go to the cinema to see Alice in Wonderland ( but that was really for the children and the write ups have been mixed), new clothes ( in-between seasons so no point ), holiday ( next one is planned for the summer..remember summers?!)… and so it went on. All my ideas had a counter-productive voice negating them. I tried again…. And then it started. You know…. the oughts, shoulds…and of course the buts….

So what would be fun?

 The best I could manage was: ‘I’d love to decorate my study’

….But that’s not actually true. I ought to decorate it as it’s an eclectic mix of 3 different colour schemes ranging from pink, to neutral, to yellow depending on what was behind which cupboard that’s now removed…. yeuch, really not a good room to work in!

However, I’m dreading the process so it’s not getting done. I hate all that wiping down, brush cleaning and general mess.

Ok, so let’s look at the end result, raise the energy and think more positively…

I do like the idea of having a freshly decorated area specially for me though. A place where I can be creative and would enjoy going every morning. I’d really enjoy designing an area that reflected my personality and could become a sanctuary all of my own…… Mmmmm, I’m looking forward to decorating that room after all. Think I’ll do a mood board this week-end and get the creative juices flowing….


By focussing on the end result rather than the process, positive thinking can be used in everyday life to motivate, create energy and enthusiasm.

5-minute challenge:

 – Write down an ‘ought‘ or ‘should‘ that is always on your ‘to do’ list ?

 – Imagine the end result if you did this and describe in as much detail as you can.

 – Describe how you would feel

 – Re-write your first statement without the words ‘should‘ or ‘ought

 – What would make this fun…. be creative!

Enjoy exploring the possibilities … bring back the fun!

Let me know how you get on and let’s celebrate the successes!