Where is your life going?

Many of us are so busy with the day to day running of our lives that we fail to step off the treadmill to look at where we are going, let alone who we are or what we really want out of life. Life tends to be something that happens along the way and too often the years pass and we have regrets that we’re still treading water. This is why I run coaching Workshops. .. to inspire.. to explore possibilities … and to enable everyone to live their life with passion, energy and excitement.

So…Due to popular demand I have released a new date for an additional Workshop   Friday 7 October

 

Places are limited so to reserve your place now contact me on   positivethinking@tiscali.co.uk

 

The Workshops is for people who, like many of us, have reached a point in their lives where they want more than life’s currently offering them, even if they don’t know exactly what ‘more’ looks like at the moment.

Previous Workshops have proved to be hugely popular, inspiring, and really great fun. The synergy of a group environment stimulates ideas, opens up new possibilities and raises the energy of every one in the group.

By stepping out of your daily routine for a day and getting away from all the usual distractions you can achieve so much. The Workshop will encourage you tochallenge the structure of every aspect of your life ( work, career, social life, finance, relationships, health and fitness etc ). By looking beyond your perceived limitations you’ll explore possibilities you may never have seen before and develop a lasting positivity and self belief.

Group sizes are kept to between 8 and 10 so that everyone gets a chance to participate fully.The whole day is designed around a warm, friendly, welcoming and overall positive atmosphere. Everyone works at their own pace and no one is ever asked to share more than they feel comfortable.

What will I get from a Workshop?

By focussing on you for a whole day you will:

- get clarity around what you want out of life

- develop a life you can live with excitement and enthusiasm

- learn lifelong skills to keep you positive and focusssed

- raise your emotional energy levels

- have a plan for a fun-filled and fulfilled life

What’s Covered in the Workshop?

All the Workshops are different as they follow the particular interests and needs of the group but at their core they focus on:

- taking an indepth look at every aspect of your life.

- self limiting beliefs,

- what would make you leap out of bed and look forward to every new day

- what’s stopping you.

- what would help you succeed; and

- how to raise your emotional energy and feel positive every day of your life

Previous delegates have commented that ” Sarah’s own infectious brand of positivity will inspire, encourage and motivate you to help you see a life of possibilities.” You will leave with a workable plan to achieve the things you want in life and, furthermore, you’ll have planned what you’ll do when you sabotage that plan in a months time…. we are only human after all!

Where are they held?

All Workshops are held  just outside Market Harborough on the Leicestershire/Northampton border. This is just an hour by train from London or 20 minutes from M6.

Costs:

Friday 7 October 10.00am – 4.00pm £150 (including aga cooked lunch!)

To reserve your place now contact me on  positivethinking@tiscali.co.uk

5 Minute exercise:

When did you last spend time thinking about what you want out of your life? Not in a general dreamy way, or a dismissive way but in a very real way that makes positive change happen? Life is too short to just tread water, or to rush through at such a speed that before you know it another year has passed and you’ve not had time to put yourself first…ever…

Put pen to paper now and outline what’s important to you in your life, and list against each point what you do on a daily,weekly or monthly basis to be true to those values…..

Struggling with this exercise? Why not put aside a day to look at what would make you feel you’d lead a fulfilled and happy life. We have fun and you’re guaranteed to feel inspired by possibilities you’d been to busy getting through life to discover!

See you soon

Sarah.

Contact me now to reserve your place: positivethinking@tiscali.co.uk

with thanks to graur razvan ionut for the photograph

How to Live life With Passion

I’m so excited! The summer holidays are nearly upon us. There’s a sense of expectation in the air as the children enjoy their last days of school before the long holidays and my thoughts have turned to my own childhood – despite what my children say I can still remember that far back!!

…I would feel positively euphoric knowing all routine and homework would cease for a 6week period
…The expectation of sun, sea and surf…. building castles out of sand or reading a book uninterrupted from cover to cover.
…New places to explore, people to meet, foods to taste, adventures to be had…
And I’m left wondering what happened to that feeling of carefree abandon that as a child I so naively took for granted and flaunted? As I watch my children I realise that I’m finally the adult who gets to choose how things are done, where we go, and what we do. How I coveted that position, when doing something ‘because I said so’ would mean that I’d chosen it!
I’m now all grown up and I want the magic back!
 So this summer I’m going to be a child again. I’m not going to be the one making all the decisions, but neither will I be doing all the cooking, shopping or cleaning. I intend to get in touch with the child in me and have some good old-fashioned fun…. look out Portugal, you have been warned!
 I will be bottling my new found energy, enthusiasm and zest for life … the one that no matter what the weather, says hooray, today is the first day of the rest of my life.

 The 5 minute challenge

 The 5 minute challenge this month is to recapture the child in you…. the one that lives with passion, who doesn’t dampen every dream with ‘yes but’ …. the one that knows how to have fun. After all, what value is there to life if it’s not fun?
 So, armed with pen and paper, take a trip with me down memory lane, let your mind wander back to your happiest childhood memories and describe them in detail: where you were, what you did, how you felt, your hopes and expectations at that time…
 Make the memory bigger and brighter, allowing yourself to really feel the laughter, the happiness, the expectations…
What can you do this summer to put you back in touch with those feelings?
If you enjoyed painting, then paint again. It doesn’t have to be a work of art….just fun! If you enjoyed dancing, join a class or just throw a party. If its sandcastles you’re after go to the beach…. or do some clay modelling at home and enjoy the feel of the different texture and the creativity…
 Drop me a line here or on http://twitter.com/coach2inspire and let’s see what the summer unleashes….
Rediscover the child in you and live life with passion!
Have a great summer
Sarah

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If we learn from mistakes, why are we frightened of making them?

Ok…I’m back blogging  by special request, after a period of hibernation ( thank you Claire )
I came a cross this question which made me stop and think, as I do from time to
time, and I thought it important enough to come back and  pose the question on my blog! Why
are we so afraid to make mistakes?

As the well known saying reassures us, mistakes are the very things
we learn from, right? Like teachers, lecturers, parents even, … and we
happily seek out their opinion, so why the fear surrounding mistakes? What is
it about getting something wrong that paralyses us so much that we fail to risk
doing something?

It’s really amazing to think that most of the modern day
inventions that we all take for granted in our day to day living, like the lap
top,computer or i-phone you’re reading this on ,would never have been invented
if the inventor had  been afraid of failure. By getting things wrong the
product was tweaked and modified, and will continue to do so, to bring us the
optimum in technology.

So, the 5 minute challenge of the day is to ask yourself:

If you knew that you would be a better person after making a
mistake, what would you dare to do?

Where is fear of failure holding you back in your life?

What would you do today if there was only success at the end
of it?

Set yourself the task of collecting a failure a week…
really! It’s amazing what you can achieve, and failing is so much more difficult
than you imagined!!

Have a good week!

Sarah

photography thanks to graur codrin:
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=982

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Do you truly love your life?

It’s the end of the summer holidays and life is, once again, returning to its normal ebb and flow. The children have returned to school, excited about seeing their friends again and full of the enthusiasm that only a fresh blank text book can inspire. It was while I was thinking about the patterns that our lives take that I came across this video and wanted to share it with you:

It made me think…It made me ask questions of myself…It made me want to dance in the rain barefoot …

Sometimes we just accept the pattern our life has acquired, without questioning if it’s what we really want. How often do we ask ourselves…’do I really love my life?’ Change isn’t easy on our own. And sharing our dreams with others is often harder still because we fear being laughed at or talked out of it.. so we keep it as a dream, locked away in a dark corner of our mind.

But what if we could lighten up, risk free-falling a bit and allow ourselves to explore wherever that may take us.

I’ve worked with clients from all over the world who’ve done just that. They have taken that leap of faith to follow their heart, explore new ideas and to shift their focus onto what they truly desire. Their self belief and bravery to take that first step to change has been truly inspirational and I’d like to acknowledge their courage here… you know who you are!

5-Minute Challenge

My challenge to you all this week is to watch the video and make a note of the unanswered questions in your life. What are your fears? Where are your self-limiting beliefs holding you back? How could a more positive attitude, support and encouragement help you live the life you love?

I’ll leave you with  the words of Martin Luther King ‘ You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just the first step.’

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

May smiles fill your day…

Sarah

How to live without ageing

Inspired by a quote a friend sent me recently I’ve been exploring the concept of age and why we use it as an excuse to place self limiting beliefs on ourselves ( thank you my friend, you know who you are):

‘youth is not entirely a time of life…it is a state of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips or supple knees. It is a temper of will, a quality of the imagination, a vigour of the emotions. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. You are as young as your self confidence, as old as your fears, as young as your hope and as old as your despair. In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope cheer and courage… you are young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered by the snows of pessimism, and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, have you grown old.’ Author unknown

30 – Minute Challenge

Let’s take this opportunity to do a life check, to stop and assess our age not in terms of years but in terms of outlook so that we can understand which stage of our journey we’ve reached and ask ‘is this where I want to be?’ After all, if it’s a state of mind we’re after we can be any age we choose – it’ll just take some mind work! How hard can it be?!

1. Take a few minutes to think about the age you would like to be. This should be a time when you had/have/will have the wisdom to understand yourself, the confidence to be who you are and the imagination to see and enthusiasm to experience the possibilities life has to offer.

If the answers don’t come straight away don’t force them.. put the idea to the back of your mind and allow your sub-conscious to find the response that’s right for you. Then choose a time when you can be alone, relax and let the answers bubble to the surface in their own time. You might be surprised by what you discover….

2. Take a piece of paper and  write ‘I am (your chosen age)’:

Now, writing in the past, present of future as appropriate write down your thoughts, hopes and aspirations for yourself. Don’t bother with punctuation or spelling, just let the words flow. Often when I do this sort of exercise I have difficulty starting so just write whatever I’m thinking until my thoughts calm down and my true self can speak without censorship e.g mine looked something like this:…. ‘I really have no idea what I’m going to write but I’ll just keep writing and maybe the brain I’m supposed to have will start working and… oh.. the number 42 has popped into my mind..that’s interesting.. i like the feel of that …so what does 42 represent to me.. I guess my life will be at the stage when I feel…’ etc….yippee, I have focus and it’s beginning to come! You get the idea anyway so give it a go and see what comes up for you.

3. The next stage of the exercise is to see how your written thoughts compare with the way your life is at the moment. Make a list of areas of the main differences, currently I think ‘x’ and I want to think ‘y’. Eg: I currently think ‘to be successful I have to live in the fast lane’ and I want to think ‘success means having balance and peace in my life’.

 4. For each of these write down 3 positive statements for thinking ‘y’.

e.g  When I feel at peace my problems pale away

        When I feel at peace those around me feel calm and the atmosphere becomes energised and positive

         When I feel at peace I get more done because I’m more efficient.

5. The final stage is, of course, to write down 3 actions for each change that you want to bring about…. and do it! Keep it simple and achievable.

e.g:  To help me find more balance and inner peace:

         I will play more uplifting and calming music (easy and achievable)

         I will say ‘no’ more often to create more ‘me’ time (should be easy but is often not…I’ll  work on this one!)

         I will light candles and relax in the bath before bed ( love this one, easy and achievable – will buy more candles!)

When you’ve completed this for each change that you want to bring about just pick 3-4 actions and commit to doing them every day for the next 28 days. There is a magic in repetition. It creates a habit and then you will rapidly notice the difference this will make to your life and the changes you wish to make. Next month you can add to these but to succeed I’d suggest starting with just a few.

 

Now, I know there’ll be some of you resisting committing anything to paper. Firstly I’d urge you to try it…. You can even burn it afterwards!! But if you still resist… I really am reading your mind now!… then the one thing I would ask is that you re-read the quote at the start and identify your own messages of hope and inner beauty so that you can feed your own ageless inner confidence and keep it alive and vibrant. This will enable you to look beyond the limitations of your own personal perimeter fence and take advantage of the possibilities unfolding in front of you.

Life is full of possibilities… explore, discover, enjoy!

Have fun being your chosen age…. and if it’s not fun, just choose another one!

Sarah

photography by:

healingdream:
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=989

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Life’s lessons…. the first 7 that come to mind anyway!

Mmm…. Interesting title. I can’t possibly imagine that I’ve yet learnt enough to earn the right  to commit these to print…. but I’ve decided to write what I believe I have learnt to date. As my first baby is soon to flee the nest, not so much flee as ask for a lift to the station to spend a few weeks at university before coming home at the end of term, but it feels like a pivotal point and started me on a reflection of what words of wisdom I’d like to impart.

So, Alex, this is for you so that you may shorten the learning curve and start where I am now, giving you many years to learn so much more than me… that should appeal to your male ego!

1. Be yourself, everyone else is taken. You have been given this life. It will have it’s fair share of adventure, heartache, fun, excitement, love and laughter but remember to have fun. If you’re not happy then do something about it. Take responsibility for your life, and change the things you don’t like. It is not someone elses fault if you are unhappy. It’s just the way you have chosen to react to a situation.
2. Everyone sees life from their own perspective… this doesn’t make them either right or wrong, it just is. They have as much right to these views as you do of yours. If you had lived their life you may well have come to the same conclusion. Respect their views, and always be curious so that you can expand yours.
3. Take time to observe. Sometimes we are so busy living our day to day lives and doing what you’d call ‘stuff’ that we forget to step out for a minute or two and take time to observe ourselves, dispassionately, to see if we like who we are, who we are becoming, and where our current path is taking us. We have a choice and are always in charge of our own destiny. When you step out to be the observer rather than the main player you can see life is full of possibilities – all you need to do is choose.
4. Your Grandmother was a firm believer that ‘there’s no such word as can’t’. Because I was a contrary child I made it my mission to prove her wrong. I now realise, too late to tell her unfortunately, that she was right. If there’s something you want to do, know that you can. This needs some thinking about as your first reaction will be that ‘ I can’t just be the Prime Minister though can I?!’ But take a while to think about it. If you had a passion to be the PM, and you thought it was possible, what would you do first. You’d join a political party, you’d volunteer to help in campaigns, you’d get noticed, you’d speak at conference, you’d stand for parliament yourself eventually.. soon it no longer seems a childish dream but a real possibility. The key is to find your passion and to follow it – by taking the first step, and then when you’ve achieved that, the second. Of course you are at liberty to adjust your passion as you go through life. It needs to be what the label says, and not a noose around your neck. You’ll feel energised and happy when you’re following a true passion and doing it to fulfil your own life.
5. Practise humility. This word has been done a huge disservice over the years, and the dictionary ‘s definition implies meekness and timidity. I’m using it here as possibly the most powerful lesson yet. By assuming others know more than you, that they have a valid contribution to make and that you can learn from them allows you to put away the ego, turn on the beginners mind and approach anything with an open curiosity, eager to learn and with nothing to prove. From this position there is no fear about defending a fragile position, your growth is accelerated and as you expand you will bring others with you. It is one of the most important lessons and practiced by great leaders. Ask questions, seek information, and allow others to reveal their greatness to you – they will gladly follow.
6. Value your energy. So often in life we find ourselves in jobs that leave us feeling tired and drained, or in relationships which do the same. Find what energises you, what excites you and leaves you feeling fulfilled and full of energy. Never allow yourself to take this for granted or just give it away. Passion, living with heart and soul if you like, is a key to happiness.
7. Love yourself. Not in the strutting in front of the mirror hair gel sort of way (!) but in an unconditional all encompassing sort of way. If you can’t love yourself you cannot love another. This principle involves a total acceptance and understanding of who you are, your values, strength and a sense of purpose. If you can live with integrity, knowing you are living in a way that upholds all the above, you have love to give away. Forgive yourself when you fall, we are only human after all, and realise that others don’t necessarily share your values and will have a value system of their own. Respect that and accept that they too may fail at times. We are all, after all, on life’s journey together and can learn from each other.

So, there we have it.. the first seven life lessons. Maybe I’ll add another seven before you leave in October, but I’m sure for now you have some fun to seek and energy to burn…

5 minute challenge:

What are the first 7 life lessons that come to mind when you think of passing on your wisdom to the next generation? Challenge yourself to spend a few minutes jotting these down and then question how well you live up to them yourself. What adjustments do you want to make in your life to live with heart and soul so that you’re making the most of your life. If you’re interested in doing further exploratory work on this subject take a look at http://headheartandsoul.wordpress.com .

This and other articles make up  a Life Lessons Series which have been put together by the very talented and inspirational blogger Abubakar Jamil. You can follow the series by clicking on:  http://www.abubakarjamil.com/life-lessons-series/

Thanks for reading. Please let me know any ideas you have on the subject and add some life lessons of your own in the comment box.

Warmest wishes,

Sarah

photography by luigi diamanti:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=879

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

It is said that the people in our lives are a reflection of an aspect of ourselves.This isn’t always a comfortable idea, particularly if we are going through a difficult time at work or in our relationships for example. It’s far too easy to start a rant about how badly or unfairly you are being treated, rather than to stop and see if there is a lesson to be learnt here.

A client of mine recently phoned me, hugely worried about some bad news she’d had. She wanted to analyse the situation from every angle, weigh up the options, and decide on a plan ‘A’, ‘B’ (and ‘C’ would have been good too). Her husband on the other hand had a different way of processing information and needed time to quietly reflect, alone, and had vanished onto what she called his ‘desert island’. He needed time to internalise everything that had happened before he talked to her but she felt this as a rejection.

Now, as I see it, this is a fairly typical situation many of us find ourselves in. There is no right or wrong answer; it’s just a different way of processing. But the more we tell the other person to row back to our mainland and talk, the deeper he/she charges into their island, lights a fire and probably snuggles under the bivouac for the night… and the more we will berate them for their unreasonableness!

But how would it have been if my client had imagined walking into a 360 degree mirrorred room at that moment? If she’d seen herslf as her husband saw her? She desperately wanted to charge in and find a solution and, in so doing, would have disempowered him completely. If she could have looked in his mirror, and seen his need to be strong, to be the hunter-gatherer, the provider with a need to process the situation until he had worked out some options, how much more comfortable would she have felt? No longer a relationship crisis, but a request that she relinquish some control and give him space to process. And likewise, if he could have seen her need to understand, to communicate and be part of the search for the answers, how much more relaxed could he have felt about letting her in? Maybe she could have been allowed to sit by the fire in the heart of his new den to listen, share ideas, and leave the solutions to find their own way of making themselves known.

Seeing ourselves as others see us is not always a comfortable experience but it can teach us so much, if we are prepared to look….

5 minute challenge

Take a few minutes to think about the people in your life at the moment. Are there aspects you are finding challenging about them? What is the mirror showing you?

We may not always like what we see when we look in our mirors, pulling faces at the saggy bits here and there but we have to admit the mirror is only reflecting what it sees. Now is the time to question whether the mirror is part of a fairground attraction, distorting the image,a make-up mirror magnifying it, or a regular one reflecting the true likeness. We can then choose to smile and walk away or take from it what we need to learn and move on. Seeing the humour in the distortion can help us keep a handle on reality but so often there is a life-lesson hidden in there somewhere if we’re prepared, and courageous enough, to look!

 I have Marion Anderson to thank as the inspiration for this blog http://the-second-half-of-my-life.com/2010/07/ ‘A wolf in sheep’s clothing’

Enjoy your reflections….

Warmest wishes

Sarah

photography thanks to vegadsl:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=792

Stop Press….

I’m so excited I can’t keep this to myself any longer. 

I know it’s not very professional perhaps to release a half finished website but there is such a lot of interest being generated that I’m giving you a sneak preview now….

Take a look at http://headheartandsoul.wordpress.com and tell me what you think, or read on here to find out a little bit of background first…

 

What is the new site about?

The site has been designed to launch a new workshop, which is exciting in itself, but word seems to have got out and I’ve started taking bookings even before we’ve gone live!

Background:

For several months now I’ve been in conversation with Ian Mcpherson, an NLP coach, about our coaching philosophies and it became obvious to us that our approaches complement each other.

We’re both passionate about helping clients look deep within themselves to discover the  life they were born to live; the one that excites them and makes them leap out of bed each morning eagerly antipating their day. The skills we use to peel off the layers of self-limiting belief, to explore the possibilities that unfold and to release an energy and passion for life are slightly different but we realised the synergy that could be created by combining the two approaches would be very powerful indeed. With that in mind we have designed a one day workshop to be held near Market Harborough in the heart of the English countryside but still only 1 hour from London, on 11 September.

We intended to begin marketing this next month but as I’ve already started taking bookings, and places are limited, I wanted to share it on my personal website now.

Have a look at

http://headheartandsoul.wordpress.com

and watch it develop as we add more details to the site.

If you would like to reserve  a place at the Workshop please contact me using the form below.

Have a great week.

Warmest wishes

Sarah

Are you a good communicator?

Several things have happened in the last week that have lead me to ponder on this question. We all communicate daily, through more than one medium, and yet do we ever stop to ask ourselves whether we are doing it well?

I have enormous problems communicating with my first husband ( there’s only ever been one but I hate the negative connotations the word ‘ex’ carries and I think ‘first’ portrays an air of mystery and the exotic!). I like lots of detail so that I have the big picture and all the little nuances of life can slot into place and an easy warm feeling of understanding can spread over me. He, on the other hand, hates irrelevancies, as he sees them, and wants to know the barest minimum. This causes endless problems as he will only communicate through email so I am always without my detail and in a complete fog with no clear path to follow. Email also creates the additional complication of relying on the recipients mood when they receive it which has the effect of pouring on fire or ice, sugar or vinegar!

Have you ever noticed how a simple email can be read with humour, frustration, happiness, exasperation, blame or just neutrally depending on the mood you’re in when you read it? Texts too can be equally difficult, as anybody with teenagers knows. They also carry the added complication of abbreviations and teen speak, a language specially designed to confuse so that they are always misunderstood and have licence to do as they wish because ‘they did tell us, we were just too old and stupid to understand!’

In my opinion emails and texts are fine for gentle reminders or confirming arrangements but when it comes to meaningful idea-sharing communication there is only one way forward and that’s through a good old fashioned conversation, preferably face-to-face…. I really am becoming such a technophobe!

What makes a good verbal communicator?

Well, as I see it

1. Language that the other person understands and built-in check points to assess whether what you are saying is being understood…… question them to ensure clear understanding and paraphrase or repeat it in a different way if you need to clarify.
2. A sensitive tone, intonation and pace, checking in with the listener from time to time to ensure not only that your words are being heard, but that their meaning is being understood.
3. Body language. Is the way you are standing or sitting in line with what are you trying to say? Are you looking intimidating, relaxed, confident, open?
4. Are you allowing the other person enough time to respond? Is there a balance to the conversation so that they have the opportunity to speak while you listen… or are you lecturing, hammering home your point until they submit and wave the white flag?
5. Is what you’re saying interesting? If it’s not of interest to you it’s guaranteed not to be of interest to anyone else. Make sure there’s a point to what you have to say and if you see those tell tale signs of losing interest ( especially if it’s a full-on-drive-a-bus-in yawn ) quit before they nod off!
6. Weave the thread. Continuity is key to a good communication. Link what you are saying to the listeners comments or views shared earlier in the conversation.
7. Be versatile: If the other person doesn’t seem to ‘get it’ don’t repeat it the same way only louder! Try and use questions to understand where the break down in communication is happening and explain your point in a different way.
8. Never try to explain things to someone when they’re angry. When all they can see is red they are not receptive. Your words will fall on stoney ground and you’re better off calmly saying ‘ I can’t talk to you when you’re angry. We’ll continue this conversation later when we’re both calm’….. and walk away.
9. Be interested not just interesting. Give the other person a chance to speak and be genuinely interested in what they are saying. Ask questions, add comments and smile.
10. Don’t be afraid to ask if you don’t understand something. You cannot communicate your point if you’ve not understood theirs. It’s not a sign of ignorance, it’s filling the gaps in communication.

5-minute challenge

Where is communication causing you problems in your life?

Could better communication stop the misunderstandings, irritations and arguments occurring?

What can you do differently to communicate your feelings?

Choose one area of conflict and write down 3 key messages you would like to communicate. Leave blame and anger out. If you cannot, then leave it until you feel calmer. What do you want to say in a neutral way to express yourself?

Often sentences that follow this formula serve us best in taking the heat and blame out of a conversation:

‘When you say/do…………………… I feel …………..’

‘What I want from you is………………….’

In this way there is no blame attached. It is just simple fact.

Notice your communication style this week and measure it against the 10 points above.

 

Have a great week of communicating.

Cheers

Sarah

Photo by Salvatore Vuono:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=659

Procrastinating Again – Just Say Poppycock

Isn’t it funny how you can always find the time to do the things in life you really want to do, but procrastinate and put-off those jobs you don’t enjoy?

‘Poppycock’ is my mot du jour. Apparently it stems from the Dutch, meaning dung and translates into nonsense, bull, baloney. It’s proving particularly useful as I hear myself procrastinating yet again and give myself excuses for not completing my tax forms this week.

My plan was to set aside the whole day today to complete this hideous administrative task. Great plan! Unfortunately the day is fast concluding and I’ve already found lots of fun things to do to distract me. And yes, writing this has been one of them! Every time I think of the pile of paperwork I have to get through and the form filling required I feel drained of energy and irritable. But I’m a coach and love positive thinking, so surely I can turn this around?

So, I decided to coach the coach and it went something like this…

Q. What is it that’s causing you to procrastinate so much?

A: I don’t know really. I just hate the detail of the paperwork. Every time I think about it I feel drained. It’s not that it’s particularly difficult, it just takes time, and has to be checked and rechecked. I’m the only person I know who can add up the same column of figures three times and get three different results  – and that’s with a calculator!

Q. How have you felt in the past when you’ve completed a task you’ve been putting off?

A: Great! Relieved. It’s funny but although I hate this particular task and always put it way down my priority list, it never really takes as long as I anticipate and really isn’t that difficult. I’m quite good at keeping the paperwork together so it’s just a matter of getting round to it.

Q. It sounds to me as if the thought of doing the task is filling a lot of your time, draining your energy and stopping you having as much fun as you usually do, is that true?

A: Yes, definitely. I’m really not settling at anything at the moment. I feel guilty because I’m not getting on with it so can’t really enjoy the things I want to be doing.

Q. If you were to look at your diary now, how much time would you realistically need to put aside to complete this task?

A: About a day, a day being until school pick up at 3.30 anyway.

Q. Good. So when have you next got a free day?

A: Well, I have a few commitments next Wednesday but I could reschedule them to clear the day.

Q. That’s great. How would you feel if you cleared next Wednesday for paperwork and made a commitment to complete it all then?

A: It feels as if I’m more in control.

Q. How will you feel by Wednesday night?

A: So much better. Ready to celebrate. In fact I might arrange to go out with a friend to reward myself. Yes, great plan. Thank you!

As you can see, by focussing on the way we feel once the dreaded job is completed we can  feel more positive. In our head the job is behind us and we’ve got the feel-good factor again. By tapping into that positive feeling we’re in a far better state of mind to think creatively and get things done. Gone is the procrastination we felt when the task was still in front of us.

In reality, nothing on the outside has changed, but in our head, there’s a very different energy – one that will now spur us into action and produce results.

5-minute challenge

What are you procrastinating about? What are the tasks you’re putting off?

Take 5 minutes to write them down, and go through ( or better still go through with your coach or a friend ) the questions above, tweaking them if necessary to release the positive feelings that lie the other side of the task. Take time to really get in touch with the satisfaction you will feel once the job is completed. Then, and only then, turn your mind to the actions you need to take to get the other side of the task you’ve been putting off. Do you need to

a) delegate it,

b) find further information or take action before you can complete it, or

c) just get on and do it?

Choose your next step and make a commitment today to do that. The faster you are the other side of this hurdle the faster you’ll have more energy, positivity, and fun. It really is that simple when you break it down. Take that first step and gain some forward momentum today.

And next time you find yourself procrastinating, just remember, the word is ‘poppycock’!

Have a wonderful week – see you the other side of your current hurdle!

Warmest wishes

Sarah

Photography by Arvind Balaraman:

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1058